What’s in a Smile? 5 Most Common Smiles and what they communicate

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM and Dani Slaugh, Conselle Affiliate

Never a lip is curved with pain
That can’t be kissed into smile again.
~Brete Harte

Valentine’s is a great day to share the love and give someone you care about a smile.  We’ve put together a list of famous lips and common tips on what your smile says about you. But first, guess which celeb belongs to these lips! (answers at the bottom)

   A

   B

   C

   D

   E

   F

   G

As we have learned in Sherlock Holmes, it is impossible to not communicate.  Everything about our image from the clothing, hair, body language, tan line, jewelry, shoes and yes, even a smile tells a story about each of us.  So what is your smile communicating?  In The Definitive Book of Body Language, Allan and Barbara Pease describe the Five Common Types of Smiles:

1. The Tight-Lipped Smile

It sends the message that the smiler has a secret or a withheld opinion or attitude that they will not be sharing with you.  It’s a favorite of women who don’t want to reveal that they don’t like someone and is usually clearly read by other women as a rejection signal. Most men are oblivious to it.

2. The Twisted Smile

The Twisted Smile is peculiar to the Western world and can only be done deliberately, which means it can send only one message – sarcasm.

3. The Drop-Jaw Smile

This is a practiced smile where the lower jaw is simply dropped down to give the impression that the person is laughing or playful, but they are faking enjoyment.

4. Sideways-Looking-Up Smile

With the head turned down and away while looking up with a Tight-Lipped Smile, the smiler looks juvenile, playful, and secretive.  This coy smile has been shown to be men’s favorite everywhere, because when a woman does it, it engenders parental male feelings, making men want to protect and care for females.  This is one of the smiles Princess Diana used to captivate the hearts of people everywhere.

5. The George W. Bush Grin

President George W. Bush always has a permanent smirk on his face.  Ray Birdwhistell found that smiling among middle-class people is most common in Atlanta, Louisville, Memphis, Nashville, and most of Texas.  Bush is a Texan and they smile more than most other Americans.  As a result, in Texas, an unsmiling individual might be asked if he was “angry about something,” while in New York, the smiler might be asked,  “What’s so funny?” President Jimmy Carter was also a Southerner who smiled all the time.  This worried the Northerners who feared that he knew something they didn’t.

Did you guess right?  

A. Madonna, B. Lucy Liu, C. Angelina Jolie, D. Julia Roberts, E. Taylor Swift, F. Marilyn Monroe, G. Naomi Campbell

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What do you see when you look in the mirror?

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM and Dani Slaugh, Conselle Affiliate

• Do you have trouble getting your ideas accepted by others?
• Do you often justify or make excuses for the way you look?
• Do you dislike what you see when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or window glass?
• Do you feel inadequate in knowing how to dress to communicate different moods or messages?
• Do you limit the places you go because of the clothes you have to wear?
• Do you feel uncomfortable or intimidated with others who are dressed well?
• Do you feel frustrated or overwhelmed when shopping for clothes?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, attention to dress can help you.

Most people want to be attractive, but all too often they assume appearance just happens.  Some view it as a matter of luck, or an inherent trait.  Others continually wish, watch and wait for some sort of magic that will make them instantly attractive….turn them into a lion. However, it just doesn’t work that way.  It takes knowledge, thought, and effort.  For those who really want to create an attractive appearance, a personal stylist or image consultant holds the most hope and help.

At Conselle, we have three levels of support to help you reach your full potential.

1.  For individual private services with a qualified personal stylist or image management consultant,

CLICK HERE:  www.conselle.com

2.  For a week long retreat where we teach you the life-long skills to know and grow your image,

CLICK HERE:  http://www.conselle.com/image-enhancement-retreat.php

3.  To become an image consultant, learn from one of only nine certified image masters in the country,

CLICK HERE:  http://www.conselle.com/become-an-image-consultant-certification.php

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Image for Work-at-Home Moms

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM with Sarah Ward, Conselle Affiliate

Let’s face it — stay-at-home moms don’t just sit around — they work!  If you are a work-at-home mom, you know how busy life can get juggling all your different roles and responsibilities on a daily basis.  Between making lunches and shuttling kids across town, you may have found that how the way you look often takes back burner.

It’s common for stay-at-home moms to get stuck in the routine of wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt.  On a regular basis, however, this attire can unconsciously contribute to feelings of depression and get you feeling down.  Think about it.  When you’re feeling relaxed to the point of sloppy, you don’t feel charged up and ready to go.

The remedy?  Make a habit of looking nice at home.  Set aside some time for yourself and dress in comfortable, good-looking clothes with a little makeup.  This will improve your self-confidence and help you to be more productive during the day.  Looking nice is one of the fastest and most effective ways to feel good about yourself as a work-at-home mom.

Remember: The way you dress affects the way you think, feel, act and then the way others respond to you — including your children.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to help you assemble your work-at-home mom wardrobe!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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Dress Cutesy, Lose Credibility

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM with Sarah Ward, Conselle Affiliate

Recently I saw a beautiful medical doctor interviewed on a daytime talk show on contraceptive aids, the need for women to be aware of their options and use them wisely.  She wore an ultra-trendy black top with short sleeves and delicate lace around the hemline.  Now as you are well aware, you cannot NOT communicate.  This intelligent female doctor, dressed as cutesy and girly as she was, belied her knowledge, reduced her credibility and looked like a little girl on national television.

Consider the message you are sending with your clothing and be sure to take care when wearing trendy ruffles, lace and puff sleeves.  Don’t get me wrong — I have nothing against feminine ruffles, lace or puff sleeves.  They are great choices for the evening when you want to look and appear feminine with your sweetheart.  But let’s face it — these trends do not belong in the boardroom or on national television.

When you get dressed in the morning, consider the occasion, your roles and goals, as well as who will see you throughout your day, then dress appropriately.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to help you dress credibly and professionally!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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A New Year, A New You

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

A New Year, A New You! Photo c/o dailymakeover.com

It is a new year, and a new you may be waiting just around the corner.  Perhaps 2010 is the year to upgrade your appearance.  Maybe you’d like a new way of wearing your hair, an improved way of applying a little makeup, or a plan for a winning wardrobe. 

Achieving an improvement in personal appearance is one of the fastest, most effective ways I know to boost self-esteem.  When you like yourself, it’s a lot easier to pick yourself up when the going gets rough and do whatever has to be done in your day.

Break overwhelmingly large projects into smaller and more manageable steps to be completed one by one.  With each small goal achieved, you’ll feel the joy of victory. 

One such victory was won by a woman whose time and budget were devoted to her family.  She had dreamed of a total make-over for herself, but there never seemed enough time or funds to work on such an enormous project. 

Look at the difference eyebrows can make! Photo c/o oprah.com

Look forward to the marvelous sense of accomplishment that awaits you.  Think of how great you’ll feel when you look in the mirror and see a revitalized you!

Commitment to the task is vital.  Put it on your calendar so it becomes a real part of your life.  Many people are spurred to action when they’ve got a target day to aim for.  “Today I am determined to improve my appearance,” is the promise one busy bread-winner makes to herself. 

So I ask you, what one small improvement in your looks have you wanted to make for a long time?  The new year holds the promise for a more attractive appearance for those who have decided that the time is now.  Have a Happy Near Year!

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to help you discover a new, revitalized you!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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Discover You Own Personal Style

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

Snoop shopping in our local malls, you can find classic clothes and sporty clothes, trendy clothes and snazzy clothes, leather jackets and sweat knit hoodies, tailored styles and cutesy styles.  We’ve got a lot to choose from, yet few are choosing.

Fashion books and experts continually advise us to discover, develop and stick to a personal style.  They point out that the most memorable, secure and successful people can be identified by a consistent style of dress and grooming.  This is generally true.  And next thing you know, they’re telling you what the latest “must have” is.

So how does one go about figuring out their own personal style?  Personal style is usually defined as the way we take an existing fashion or fad and make it uniquely personal.  It’s not just the clothes that count, it’s the way you wear them—your way.

Personal style is an acquired quality that develops from within.  As we observe, imitate, and learn from the styles of others, we edit those observations and ideas to fit our personal needs.  We, in essence, become a visual composite of many people and many styles, ultimately projecting a unique image of ourselves.

Discovering your personal style comes right down to the nitty-gritty of deciding what specific characteristics of dress and design you are most comfortable wearing most of the time–and feel you could wear for the rest of your life.  Personal style implies a consistency in the selection of lines, shapes, colors, patterns and textures.

The specific degrees of each of these details of dress communicate your personality traits and reflect your values, attitudes, interests and lifestyle as they project to self and others an image of the person within.  This is personal style.

Personal style may reflect a woman as daringly dramatic, daintily demure or a delightful blend in between;  as super sportive, radiantly romantic or a surprising and complementary combination of both;   as a traditionally classic conservative, a trendsetting free spirit, or a marvelous mix in between.

And again, if you think this applies to women only, think again.  A man’s personal style may project him as being macho or mellow, traditional or trendy, shabby or sharp.

For some, the discovery and decisions about dress come almost intuitively.  They seem to have an inherent sense of what feels and looks “right” for them.  For others, it takes conscious effort to become more aware, to study and to experiment.

Personal style is not something you are born with, can borrow or buy.  Regardless of how you acquire yours, it takes years of living, learning and experience to develop a style of your own.

And in the final analysis, I must admit that personal style is often more easily felt than explained.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to help you discover your own personal style!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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‘People Watching’ Pays Big Dividends

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

Remember those people you always watched in high school? You know, the girls and guys who looked just right, as well as the few who looked like a fright. Let’s face it, people are continually noticing one another, forming impressions and making judgments based on appearance. So why not do it with a purpose once in a while?

Purposeful ‘people watching’ can help you become more aware of specific dress and grooming practices. And as you become more aware of your own appearance and can then make a change for the better if it’s called for.

“People watching” may help you avoid altogether some of the most common mistakes. Anyplace where large numbers of people gather is a good place to ‘people watch.’ The people in the library, grocery store, cafeteria or movie theater are often more interesting than what is in the books, on the shelves, the menu or the movie screen.

A large metropolitan airport is an ideal spot for people watching. You’ll see people with total variety in lifestyle, cultural and geographical backgrounds, values, attitudes and interests, as well as the random assortment of sizes and shapes. Pick your place, clear your mind and just watch. Take a few moments out of your own shopping time and plant yourself on a bench where you have full view of the comings and goings. (And don’t panic if they notice you’re watching—just smile and turn your attention elsewhere.)

Watch what people are wearing and how they’re wearing it. Is the clothing appropriate for the occasion, the weather and the person’s age, personality, figure and personal coloring?

Try to become aware of your own reactions to those you see. Catch your first impressions. If you don’t like the way someone looks, try to figure out why. Maybe her skirt pulls tight over her fanny and the hem hikes three inches shorter in back than front. Or maybe his plaid pants fight with his striped shirt and polka dot tie.

If your first thoughts were “sharp,” “looks terrific,” or “I’d like to look like that,” try to figure out how the various parts fo the outfit have been put together and how the grooming details contribute to the harmony of the total look. You’re sure to pick up some pointers.

“People watching” can be a fun, fascinating and informative pastime. It’s a never-ending adventure in expanding your awareness, sensitivity and objectivity. Use it to your advantage.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to work with you!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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Gestures Can Help Improve Your Image

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

Your hand and arm gestures can be valuable aids in helping you improve the visual image you present to others.  Learn to use gestures to express yourself with energy and animation.  Use them to reflect your interest and enthusiasm, to rivet the listener’s attention, to create mental pictures in the minds of your audience –be it an audience of one or 100.  Use gestures to support what you’re saying, to intensify the impact of your words and to drive home important points.

Never force your gestures just for the sake of gesturing.  Because thoughts precede any natural body language, gestures must flow naturally from the ideas that you are communicating.  As the words come, so should the appropriate gesture.  Any gesture out of sync with what you’re saying make the message less believable.  Attempts to learn a particular set of gestures are usually doomed to failure because the results appear robotic, stilted and insincere.  Gestures must be clear, never confusing or meaningless.  The more honestly you let your gestures flow, the more believable you become.

Every verb is an excellent opportunity to make a supportive gesture.  For example:  “Let’s pull together.”  Adjectives or descriptive words and phrases provide other opportunities for gesturing.  For example: “There is a huge new development in…”

James Bond Actor Daniel Craig with his hands in his pockets. Photo c/o SplashNewsOnline

If you need somewhere to put your hands, put them in your side pockets.  This is a gesture that relaxes your stance and quickly creates an air of jaunty self-confidence.  It’s particularly good for informal occasions and presentations.  Just don’t twiddle with anything inside your pockets or you’ll ruin the effect.

If you are in a position that requires you to speak before a group, experiment with different gestures and decide which ones best convey your message.

After working with several simple phrases, advance to a full paragraph taken from written material you can relate to or use in your work.  Make your practice more fun and play charades with family and friends.

With time you can expand your gestural vocabulary to enhance your verbal message along with your visual image.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to work with you!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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Here’s Proof That You Are What You Wear

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

“You can’t prove it! You have no evidence that what I wear to school affects my grades or the way I act!” hissed an angry woman into the television camera.

The scene was Chicago and repeated in St. George, UT.  The subject was minimal school dress and grooming codes.  Students fairly spat into the microphone, their anger was so intense.

My immediate thought was “Oh, have they got a lot to learn.”  And if they don’t learn, chances are their appearance will work against them the rest of their lives.

Research abounds, done by home economists, psychologists and sociologists, providing evidence that what you wear effects not only the way you feel, but also the way you act and the way other react to you—all with potential for lasting effects on your life.

Not everyone is likely to believe this unless they see it, feel it and experience it.  Therefore, let me suggest a little experiment—an experiment not just for teens, but for anyone skeptical about the influence of appearance in their lives.

This experiment requires you to dress yourself inappropriately — inappropriate for your age, your fashion values, your personality, your figure, your lifestyle or the occasion.

A subtle approach—something that could really happen—often achieves the best result.  Try wearing a shirt with a rip in the underarm seam or with a noticeable food spot on the front.

Wear a business suit or dressy dress to a bowling party or football.   Wear casual or grubby clothes to a ‘best-dress’ party or restaurant.  Wear mismatched clothing or shoes.  Dress in a style associated with a well-known personality but not suited to you. 

Put on clothing associated with someone older or younger than you.  Try wearing clothes that do not fit.  Borrow from a neighbor if need be.  If you’re conservative, wear something extremely plain or outdated.  The key is to wear something inappropriate.  Your options are endless.

As with any experiment there are rules to follow.  First, don’t tell anyone what you are doing.  Even one person knowing that “this is not really you” will spoil the result of the experiment.

Second, keep accurate mental or written notes through the experimental period of time.  How do you feel?  How do you act or behave?  How do others react or respond to you?

Do you feel confident or self-conscious, comfortable or insecure?  Do you act like your usual self and on your best behavior or is your behavior somehow different?  Do others seem to react to you in any way out of the ordinary?  Do they treat you the way you want to be treated?  Remain aware throughout the entire experimental period of time. Later, after you’ve ended the experiment, try to decide what effect your appearance had on you and others.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to work with you!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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Bags and Briefcases For Women: Part I of II

By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM

 

Business women face the dilemma of what to carry–purse or briefcase.  The question is how to keep business folders and documents neat, clean and organized or your lunch in tact;  how to have keys, charge cards, pens, wallet and makeup close at hand; how to travel across town, present a paper, promote a product, or shake hands with ease and without looking like a bag lady.

A purse is often too feminine, a briefcase too masculine, a purse and a briefcase too cumbersome and pockets are absent or impractical.  There seems to be no one perfect solution for all women, but instead a variety of solutions based on how much you have to carry and where you work.

If you carry a lot–legal briefs, professional journals, binders, books or boots–a large tote bag or briefcase is required.  If desired, they double as overnight bags for business travel.  If a few papers are the norm, a slim envelope bag or portfolio is sufficient.  If it’s keys and a wallet, with a minimum of makeup, a small bag will do.  No sense to carry something larger than you need–unless you’re after the more assertive professional image associated with a briefcase, even an empty one.

If you work in a traditionally conservative or formal business office, stick with a classic leather handbag or briefcase, one devoid of decoration or designer initials.  Plain and simple is the rule.  If you work in a creative or casual business office, your options expand to include the variety of leather or fabric totes and even canvas or polished-looking leather back packs.

PROFESSIONAL LOOKING PURSES:  If a smaller handbag meets your needs, choose from the professional looking clutch, envelope or satchel styles available–often with a detachable shoulder strap.  Conservative business bags should be made of fine leather or an excellent imitation leather.  Suede is less durable than leather.  Fabric or straw bags are appropriate for after-hours and creative or those in casual business positions.

Choose from the variety of classic colors–black, brown, burgundy, gray, navy, luggage, cinnamon or chestnut-brown.  Light or bright colors are acceptable for creative or casual business bags, although lighter colors show the soil and scratch marks more readily than darker colors.  Handbag colors should coordinate well with mainstay clothes and shoes in your business wardrobe.

PRACTICAL TOTEBAGS:  Women in creative or casual business positions find totebags a practical alternative to a briefcase.  Not as formal, totebags offer more flexibility for bulky items along with a variety of fashion options.  Available in a wide range of sizes, leathers and fabrics, you might want to consider leather for fall/winter and straw, canvas or linen for spring/summer.

Totebags are softly constructed.  Papers are easily crushed and wrinkled under the weight of books and personal items.  A thin notebook or portfolio that slips easily inside the tote will protect papers.  Open-at-the-top totes invite pickpockets.  Make sure yours is closed at the top.

Briefcase or tote, select a size in proportion with your size.  A huge case or bag easily overpowers a petite figure.  Too large a tote and you look more like a packhorse.

Next:  Briefcases and combination solutions.

Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009

Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to work with you!  Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.

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