By Judith Rasband, AICI CIM
All too often we select a gift according to our own personal style and preferences, our needs and wants, without giving serious consideration to those of the receiver. Being no exception, I once gave my daughter a crocheted sweater vest one Christmas. I absolutely loved it. But it wasn’t until I questioned her as to why she hadn’t worn it that I discovered her true feelings about the gift. “Gee Mom,” she wailed, “it’s not my fault we don’t have the same taste in clothes.”
I had a good laugh as I remember a lavender floral print dress bedecked with ruffles and lace my father gave me for Christmas when I was a teen. It was beautiful, but I couldn’t wear it. It was too pretty, too “cutesy” for me. I prefer more tailored, sportive clothing styles.
Have you ever received a gift you didn’t like? How did you respond?
These memories bring me to the problem of guilt. If the giver is a family member or a good friend, you may feel obligated to wear the clothes, regardless of how you look or feel in them. They can present you in a way not in harmony with your body build, your values or personality traits. That’s uncomfortable, too. On the other hand, you may refuse to wear them, thus offend the giver, and feel doubly guilty yourself.
To avoid these problems, you need to start early, to discover for yourself and then teach your family what you do like in clothes — what works for you, for your personal style, roles, and goals.
Tomorrow we’ll address in greater detail how to teach your family what your personal preferences are and get the gift you need.
Copyright Judith Rasband and Conselle L.C. 2009
Judith Rasband is the Image Expert and would love to work with you! Visit www.conselle.com or call 801-224-1207 to learn more.